Easter With The Soul Reapers
by Follow-The-Firefly
Summary: Let's just say that ordinary Easter celebrations look quite dull compared to Soul Reaper celebrations. Rated T for alcohol use. Oneshot. Holiday-fic


**Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, it would be a LOT easier to understand and Orihime wouldn't exist.**

**Hey yo! It's Xero! Yep, I'm changing my name from Mika-chan to Xero. I'll still go by Mika-chan, though. ^_^ This was really a spontaneous story idea while I was working on Organization XIII: TSTNW. I hope it's okay! Let the deadly tale begin!**

While the human world celebrated Easter with the Easter Bunny and brightly coloured eggs, Gotei 13 and the rest of the Soul Reapers in the Soul Society celebrated in extremely different ways. Matsumoto Rangiku, Kyoraku Shunsui, and Kira Izuru often celebrated by playing the Soul Reaper equivalent of Beer Pong and often went through so many bottles of vodka and champagne that any normal human would have passed out drunk long ago. Hitsugaya Toshiro liked to use the holiday as a time to catch up on his paperwork, much like Kuchiki Byakuya, Kurotsuchi Mayuri and Unohana Retsu. Abarai Renji liked to get teams together to play the Soul Reaper version of soccer whilst Kusajishi Yachiru simply watched her captain, Zaraki Kenpachi, challenge passing Soul Reapers to a duel.

This Easter, however, was a special one. The Ryoka (AKA Ichigo, Orihime, Uryu and Chad) were in the Soul Society. Being humans (save for Ichigo who was a substitute Soul Reaper) they had no idea what the holiday meant to the rest of the Soul Reapers in the Soul Society. Renji had taken it upon himself to educate the Ryoka in the ways of the Soul Reaper, so to speak.

"Have you lost your mind, Renji?" Ichigo exclaimed when Renji informed them of his plan. "You want us to get drunk?!"

"Ichigo, we can't drink." Orihime reminded him. "We're underage."

"Exactly." Being one of very few words, Chad got his point across very quickly.

"That's not what I meant." Renji sighed as he raised his sunglasses to his forehead. "I meant that I am going to show you guys how real Soul Reapers celebrate."

"You mean you don't use Easter eggs and candy?" Orihime looked shocked, for one reason or another.

"What did you expect?" Uryu frowned, leaning against the wall of Squad Six's barracks, where he and the other teens were staying for the duration of their visit.

"Well…" Orihime didn't really know what to think.

"I just don't want you guys to be like Captain Hitsugaya and not do anything for the whole holiday." Renji sighed, drumming his fingers on the hilt of Zabimaru.

"Is that so?" Toshiro's voice could suddenly be heard from mere feet behind the redhead.

Turning around, the teens and Renji could see the snowy-haired captain of Squad Ten standing in the doorway with a mound of paperwork in his arms, glaring at Renji.

"Um, hey Captain." Renji was clearly trying to cover up his previous mistake. "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for Captain Kuchiki." Toshiro replied coldly. "I don't suppose you know where he is?"

"What do you need him for?" Renji asked.

"I have some paperwork for him that I finished." Toshiro handed the files to Renji. "And I was wondering if he's seen my lieutenant."

"Oh, Rangiku?" Ichigo frowned.

"Yes." Toshiro nodded. "Have you seen her?"

"We last saw her with Yachiru and Yumichika at Kuriya." Uryu said.

"At least she wasn't with Captain Kyoraku." Toshiro shuddered.

"She was going to meet him there." Chad said.

Toshiro simply stared at the Mexican-Japanese teen before bolting out of the room, leaving the teens and Renji very confused.

"What was that all about?" Orihime wondered.

"You don't know much about Captain Kyoraku, do you?" Renji sighed.

"Of course not!" Ichigo exclaimed. "We just got here, didn't we?"

"Captain Kyoraku likes to drink." Renji sighed. "That's all I'll say."

"And what does that have to do with Rangiku?" Uryu frowned.

"Let's just say that Rangiku is a party girl." Renji sighed.

"That bad, huh?" Uryu grimaced.

"She didn't seem like that to me!" Orihime pointed out.

"Orihime, you don't know her very well." Chad said.

"Exactly." Renji nodded. "In any case, I'll show you guys how Soul Reapers celebrate Easter."

"Don't do anything outlandish, Renji."

Renji instantly straightened up upon hearing his captain's voice. Kuchiki Byakuya was well known for his straightforwardness and didn't like to stray from that path. Renji often looked up to the captain of Squad Six and was determined to surpass him.

"What's going on, Captain?" Renji could tell that Byakuya was still behind him.

"What are you telling these Ryoka?" Byakuya wanted to know.

"How we celebrate Easter?" Renji's response was a question.

"Make sure that they know that all Soul Reapers do not celebrate as Rangiku, Izuru and Captain Kyoraku do." Byakuya made for his desk.

"I did already." Renji said. "And Captain Hitsugaya stopped by with some paperwork he'd finished."

"What is it about?" Byakuya took the files from his lieutenant.

"I don't know, Captain." Renji said. "It's not my business to look."

"But you usually do anyway." Byakuya returned to his desk.

"I'm not like Lieutenant Kusajishi, Captain." Renji protested.

"Just leave my office, Renji." Byakuya said. "I need to work on that paperwork for Captain Komamura."

"Yes, sir." Renji nodded as he followed Chad, Uryu, Orihime and Ichigo out of the barracks.

"So what are we going to do now?" Orihime asked anxiously.

"I have my lieutenant duties to do first." Renji said. "I need to find Rikichi and make sure that he hasn't released the Hell Butterflies again."

"That happens a lot, doesn't it?" Ichigo assumed.

"You have no idea." Renji sighed.

* * *

"Rangiku, don't you think you've had enough to drink?"

"You're one to talk, Captain!"

If one was looking for three very tipsy Soul Reapers, they wouldn't need to look far to find them. Izuru, Rangiku and Kyoraku were in the Squad Eight barracks, having finished their drinks at Kuriya, drinking away. Kyoraku had found several bottles of sakè and was anxious to continue with the drinking. Rangiku, on the other hand, was looking a tad tipsier than Izuru and/or Kyoraku.

"You can hardly walk straight, Rangiku." Izuru told her.

"That doesn't matter." Rangiku hadn't started slurring her speech yet, but it was bound to start soon.

"Seriously, Lieutenant." Kyoraku grabbed Rangiku by her shoulders and steered her into a chair. "You need to sit down at the very least."

"You'd know, eh Captain?" Rangiku said before laughing manically.

"Maybe we need to find Captain Hitsugaya." Izuru told Kyoraku. "He knows how to deal with her."

"Nah, I can handle it." Kyoraku said with the wave of his hand. "I've dealt with much worse.

At that moment, Rangiku took Haineko and started beating up the table. Izuru looked at Kyoraku and said, "Okay, I'm looking for Captain Hitsugaya."

"No need to, I'm already here." And indeed, Toshiro was walking through the doorway, Hyorinmaru drawn and at his side. "How long has she been drinking?"

"For a few hours, I expect." Kyoraku said.

"Come on, Matsumoto." Toshiro pulled his lieutenant out of her chair and started to drag her towards the doorway.

"Come on, Captain!" Rangiku protested. "I'm having fun!"

"You're drunk, that's what you are." Toshiro said as he pulled her through the door and out onto the street.

"Well, Captain Hitsugaya will go easy on her." Kyoraku said before downing a bottle of sakè.

"Do you pay attention at all, Captain?" Izuru looked at the drunken captain in wonderment.

* * *

"Rikichi!"

Upon entering the Hell Butterfly conservatory, the teens and Renji found themselves face to face with thousands beyond thousands of obsidian butterflies that flew past them and went outside into the Soul Society. Naturally, only one thing could have happened: Rikichi had let the butterflies go.

"Rikichi, you'd better have a good reason for this." Renji was clearly furious with the younger Soul Reaper.

"I didn't mean to!" Rikichi squeaked.

"That's what you say every time." Renji smacked the boy in the back of the head. "Now go gather the Hell Butterflies or I'll put _you_ in the cage."

"Can you really do that?" Uryu asked ten minutes later when everyone was armed with a cage and a net and was out in the Seireitei.

"Probably." Renji shrugged. "If I find a big enough cage. Dammit, why does he keep letting the Hell Butterflies get away?"

"Maybe they weren't meant to be in a cage?" Orihime was twirling her net around her in a circle.

"No, I don't think that's it, Orihime." Chad said.

"Renji, are you looking for the butterflies again?" Shuhei, lieutenant of Squad Nine, said as the group made their way into the main district of the Soul Society.

"Yeah, Rikichi let them loose." Renji scowled.

"Need any help?" Shuhei offered. "I was going to find Lieutenant Ise, but I can find her another time."

"No, that's okay, Shuhei." Renji said. "I'll get Momo to help."

"She's with Captain Hitsugaya right now in the Squad Five Barracks." Shuhei told them as he started to walk away. "She said something about him helping with the organization of Squad Five or something like that."

"Thanks Hisagi." Renji nodded and dashed off to the Squad Five barracks.

"Why are we getting Momo?" Ichigo wondered.

"Because they always come to her when she's around." Renji said.

* * *

The barracks of Squad Eleven was in an uproar. Madarame Ikkaku wanted to spar with someone, but Yachiru and Kenpachi were doing paperwork, something that didn't surprise anyone since the captain and his lieutenant were notorious for procrastinating to the point of no return. Ikkaku wanted Yumichika to spar with him, but the narcissist wasn't giving in.

"Why the hell not?" Ikkaku protested loudly.

"It's Easter." Yumichika took a sip of his tea. "You shouldn't spar on Easter."

"That's never stopped you before!" Ikkaku scowled. "And you know Matsumoto, Kira and Kyoraku get drunk on Easter!"

"That has nothing to do with our conversation and you know it." Yumichika said.

"Ikkaku, I'll be more than willing to spar with you when I'm done." Kenpachi said, scribbling away on a sheet of paper.

"But I want to spar now!" Ikkaku whined.

"Shut up, cue ball." Yachiru glared at Ikkaku.

"Oh, bring it, Yachiru!" Ikkaku yelled.

"Calm down, Ikkaku." Kenpachi ordered. "We don't need Captain Yamamoto getting in here, now do we?"

"No, sir." Ikkaku scowled.

"Ikkaku, why don't you go find Shuhei or Captain Komamura?" Yumichika suggested. "I'm sure they'd be willing to fight."

"Captain Komamura's meeting with Captain Ukitake." Ikkaku said. "And Shuhei's already sparring with Nemu."

"And Mayuri let her?" Kenpachi seemed very amused.

"What about Soi Fon?" Yumichika pointed out.

"She's already training with Yoruichi." Ikkaku said, resting Hozukimaru on his shoulder blades.

"I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you train with them." Kenpachi set a folder of files aside.

"Yeah, I guess that's a good idea." Ikkaku stood and walked out of the barracks.

"At least he's gone." Yachiru grinned deviously.

"Was this part of a plan, Lieutenant?" Yumichika refilled his cup of tea.

"Uh-huh!" Yachiru grinned.

"That's not very nice, Yachiru." Kenpachi told her.

"Aww, why not, Ken-chan?" Yachiru demanded.

"Because you could have hurt his feelings." Kenpachi said.

"I think Ikkaku could stand to be knocked down a peg or two." Yumichika said.

"You're probably right." Kenpachi shrugged.

* * *

"This is getting absolutely ridiculous, Renji!"

Three hours of hunting still didn't return all of the Hell Butterflies to their proper cage. Even with Momo's assistance, there was one butterfly that remained hard to catch.

"At least we have Momo helping." Renji pointed out, swinging his butterfly net above his head like a sword.

"We wouldn't have gotten this far without her." Chad said.

"They like females better." Momo shrugged. "What can I say?"

"Then why haven't they gone for Orihime?" Uryu pointed out.

"Hey, where's Rukia?" Ichigo wondered. "Maybe she could help with this."

"She's probably training with the rest of Squad Thirteen in the training grounds." Momo said.

"I'll go get her, then." Ichigo dashed off.

"At least he's gone." Renji sighed.

"You don't like him very much, do you?" Momo smiled.

"Not when he's complaining." Renji scowled.

"You do a fair amount of complaining too, Renji." Orihime pointed out.

"Do not!" Renji protested.

"Yes, you do." Momo nodded.

"Seriously?" Renji questioned.

"Found it." Chad said quite randomly.

And indeed, Chad pointed to the obsidian Hell Butterfly sitting peacefully on top of a lilac bush. Momo gracefully caught the butterfly and put it back in its cage.

"Got it." She smiled.

"Already?!" Ichigo questioned as he came back with Rukia.

"Yep." Orihime nodded.

"So why did you come get me when I wasn't needed, Ichigo?!" Rukia demanded.

"I didn't know you weren't needed, Rukia." Ichigo snapped.

"Well, I guess I might as well tell you all that the festival is going to start soon." Rukia said.

"Festival?" Uryu and Chad said together.

"Sweet!" Renji and Momo grinned.

"Didn't you tell them about the festival, Renji?" Rukia rolled her eyes.

"Okay, it's basically a festival where everyone can get drunk." Renji explained to the teens, who were looking very confused.

"Haven't most of them been drinking all day anyway?" Uryu frowned.

"Yep." Momo nodded.

"Just what we need." Ichigo sighed. "More drunken Soul Reapers."

* * *

The festival was certainly entertaining, if nothing else. Squad Eleven set up a dumpling stand, manned by none other than Yachiru. Ikkaku was busy holding sparing demonstrations, though few were actually attending. Squad Four was, as always, the medical relief unit, ready to aid anyone who had fallen ill or injured. Squad Five was operating a ramen stand whilst Squad Six was providing Soul Reapers with sushi.

"I bet we can sell more sushi than you can ramen, Momo." Renji challenged.

"No way, Renji." Momo shook her head. "Sure, sushi's popular, but ramen is much better."

"Don't make this an argument." Byakuya appeared suddenly behind his lieutenant.

"Come on, Captain." Renji complained. "It was just for a bit of fun."

"Go make sure the Ryoka aren't causing any trouble." Byakuya commanded.

"But who'll watch the stand, sir?" Renji wondered.

"I'll have Mihane watch it for a while." Byakuya said. "I need to meet up with Captain Yamamoto and Captain Kurotsuchi."

"If you say so, sir." Renji said, leaving the stand and headed off to the main street.

It took a little searching before Renji found the troublesome teens. He had run into Rikichi, who was chasing after one of the Soul Reapers from Squad Thirteen. He was then discovered by Yamada Hanataro, seventh seat of Squad Four, when the timid Soul Reaper needed help carrying an injured Soul Reaper to the aid station. Only after running into Shuhei and Komamura did the redheaded lieutenant find the Ryoka.

"Well, are we having fun?" Renji asked the teens when he found them at an ice cream stand set up by Squad Seven.

"Yep!" Orihime, unsurprising to the other teens, had put red bean jelly, custard cream, Tabasco sauce and fermented bean paste on her ice cream.

"Is that actually edible, Orihime?" Uryu wondered as he gazed at the concoction before him.

"Of course!" Orihime nodded. "Tatsuki won't eat it, though."

"I wonder why." Chad looked slightly sickened.

"So what do you want, Renji?" Ichigo asked, facing the lieutenant.

"Captain Kuchiki told me to make sure that you guys weren't causing trouble." Renji replied, ordering himself a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

"He has so much faith in us, doesn't he?" Uryu rolled his eyes.

"Yep." Renji nodded.

"Hey, Renji," a buff-looking Soul Reaper said from a few tables over, "is Squad Six doing the fireworks this year?"

"Nah, Squad Ten is doing it this time." Renji said.

"Aww, it'll be boring, then." The Soul Reaper said before returning to his hot fudge sundae.

"Fireworks?" Orihime and Ichigo said together.

"Each squad has the responsibility of setting off the fireworks for a certain celebration." Renji explained. "Squad Six did the fireworks for New Years."

"And I guess Toshiro's doing it this year?" Ichigo assumed.

"Well, the lieutenants are usually the ones that decide what fireworks are going to be displayed." Renji said as the waitress served him his ice cream. "At least that's how it seems in Squad Six."

"So Rangiku's deciding?" Chad finished his banana split.

"This'll be interesting." Uryu pushed his glasses up his nose.

"Hey, look!" a random Soul Reaper yelled. "They're starting!"

"Come on." Renji somehow managed to grab all four teens and pull them away from the stand.

"What gives, Renji?!" Ichigo demanded. "I wasn't done yet!"

"You want to see the fireworks, don't you?" Renji snapped.

"Well, duh!" Uryu exclaimed.

"I know where the best spot is." Renji said. "Up by the Sokyoku."

"The execution hill?" Chad questioned.

"Crude, yes, but it has the best view." Renji explained.

"I sure hope so." Orihime said.

"Wouldn't the Senkaimon be a better choice?" Uryu wondered as he dodged a Soul Reaper carrying a tray of bananas.

"That's where everyone's going." Renji jumped over a pile of children's toys. "This way is better. Trust me."

And it was. They would never have been able to see the splendid and magnificent colours of the fireworks as chosen by Rangiku. Many of the fireworks were about cats, which made sense since her Zanpakuto was called Haineko, but she made sure to include her captain's Hyorinmaru. Icy blue dragons exploded across the obsidian sky with ash-grey cats. It really was a sight to see.

"So what did you guys do for your show, Renji?" Orihime asked when they were heading back to the barracks twenty minutes later.

"Oh, Captain Kuchiki wanted me to do a lot with the cherry blossoms." Renji said. "I still had a lot with Zabimaru in it."

"Yeah, I bet you did." Ichigo rolled his eyes.

"Oh, you know you'd have a lot with Zangetsu, Ichigo." Renji said, his fingers touching the handle of Zabimaru.

"Yeah, I probably would." Ichigo said.

"Are Zanpakutos really that important to a Soul Reaper?" Uryu wondered.

"Yes!" Ichigo and Renji shouted.

"That's obvious." Chad said mysteriously.

"Renji!" Toshiro's voice could be heard from behind them.

"What now, Captain?" Renji rolled his eyes.

"Have you seen my lieutenant?" Toshiro demanded as he caught up with them. "Tell me she isn't off drinking again."

"No, she was talking with Captain Ukitake about something." Renji said. "They were at our sushi stand, but Captain Kuchiki closed that down about ten minutes ago."

"Is she in the barracks?" Orihime offered.

"You know, I haven't thought to look there yet." Toshiro sighed.

"That'd be a good place to start, Captain." Renji replied.

"Oh, shut up." Toshiro said before dashing off.

Once they arrived at the Squad Six barracks, Renji found some tea and boiled some water while everyone else helped put the sushi making equipment away.

"So, how different was our celebration from the human world's?" Renji questioned.

The teens looked at each other for a few seconds and said, "Very."

**I hope it wasn't too bad...I kinda lost my train of thought in the middle and it got back on track at the end. Still, let me know what you think. I'll write stories for anyone who wants something done. Just PM me and we'll work it out. Reviews equal love! Thanks for reading!**


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